The King is Dead – Michael Jackson, singer, dancer and kiddie toucher, croaks at 50. Annie isn’t okay.

Hi-nooooooo!!! – Ed McMahon, sidekick, pitchman, gameshow host and drunk, dies at 86. Cash4Gold is said to be the executor of the estate.

Charlie loses an Angel – Farrah Fawcett, actress, model, body painter and nutball, dies from anal cancer. Anal cancer. I’ll just leave it at that.

Jon and Kate and the Wards of the State – new show ideas abound as reality show couple splits amid Kate’s bitchiness and Jon’s ball-lessness. Kids, get ready to go from, “I want it!” to, “Please sir, may I have some more?”

Transformers 2 supposedly really, really sucks. I don’t have anything for this one. All the reviews just say that it has no plot. But Megan Fox is hot, so it has that going for it. Which is nice.