Andre.jpgBasketball star Shaquille O’Neal has apparently purchased a Smart Car.  This has caused some startling results.

Andre The Giant came back from the dead earlier this week to inform Shaq that “you can’t nail four women at a time in the back seat of a Smart Car”.   He then proceeded to choke-slam the neighborhood ice cream man and sped off in the large treat-filled truck towards the fabled Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader Graveyard. 

Wilt Chamberlain declined comment to Super Fun Correspondents while trying furiously to break into Marilyn Monroe’s crypt with a morning star. 

In a press release from current President of the Giant League, Vic Big states: “Big Society in general, although environmentally conscious, condemn Shaq for his actions”.