So we’re still into the big sunglasses thing?  The last big glasses trend was in the 80s around Risky Business right?  I noticed it coming back a couple of years ago -those big ass Chanel glasses got really popular.  I don’t like em personally because they cover just about your entire head.  Lots of cute girls at the beer festival this weekend, wearing goggles.  What, don’t like your face?

Ann...your so hot.  Why hide the mug?

Ann...your so hot. Why hide the mug?

I mention this because I made some assumptions about the make up of the crowd at the Brewer’s festival and was just about completely wrong.  An army of young preppish men and their mega-sunglasses wearing chicks greeted me when I entered the booze tents.   I figured most of the crowd goers would be more like myself -amateur drunks that occasionally make their own beer.  I thought the preps and yups stuck with one brand?  I can’t count how many times I’ve gotten shit for ordering a funny beer when out with these kinds of folks- “What, Bud Select isn’t good enough for you?”.  Well yea, actually I like Bud but I also like variety (which is why marriage is so difficult).

You did have a good sized contingent of grizzled old guys, greasers, stinkers, brewers etc.  And you did catch the occasional couple or small crowd patiently smelling, tasting and discussing each drink.  For every couple of sincere beer lovers you had at least 4 preppie drunkards.  I mean people just tossing them down and stumbling to the next tap or in many cases the exact same one.  No big deal, usually.  I enjoy existing in a drunk tank -some of the absolutely best people watching.  I’m talkin Helen Fitzgerald’s, Pink Gallion, the airport bar etc.  But at a beer festival?  They clogged up the lines, ran into people, got overheated and generally stunk up the joint.  Aren’t there cheaper, easier ways to get sauced?

Aside from that the whole thing was delightlful.  I’m pretty sure the bassist in the cover band was that guy from the soloflex commercials who is having the time of his life at 50 (or is it 40?  I just know he looks fantatsic).  In particular I enjoyed their cover of “Sex on Fire” by the Kings of Leon.  My wife noticed an old lady nodding her head to the beat until she heard the chorus and then she looked offended.

Most of the beer was tasty.  I have to call out Morgan Street brewery though.  Is metallic really the aftertaste your going for?  Aside from that you got tons of tasty varieties and in some cases the chance to try the same kind of beer made by different brewers.  O’Fallon continues to be my favorite brewer in the St. Louis area.  Aside from the Smoked Porter (which is like drinking meat) all their beers are delicious.  In fact I think they make the best in town, their 5-day IPA.  If you try this beer and don’t like it fuck you.

Thank you Jesus, er O'Fallon

Thank you Jesus

The one style of brew I skipped was Dortmunder because Dortmunder means something else in my life.  Specifically it means having sex with a girl with nasty, floppy boobies.  Its a long story.  Anyway, I think they had about 70 different brews on tap and I tried every god damn one.  Can you still judge the taste of a beer after you’ve tried 10? 15? 40?  Eh, probably not.  Around the 50th taste I was just a drunk.  I found myself going back to the same tap over and over while repeatedly running into people in line.  Needless to say we didn’t drive our convertable Mercedes home.