Sinterklaus. Santa. Kris Kringle. Weird Fat Chimney Climber. These are the names we call the guy who breaks into your house and leaves gifts for your kids while you aren’t paying attention. What are your kids doing for this guy and do you really want to know?

But Santa has been watered down here in America. In Old Europe and Old Croatia, there is another legend you should know about.

KRAMPUS!
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Be good for Krampus’ sake!

Krampus is Santa’s drinking buddy. The guy who does the dirty work that Santa doesn’t want to do. He is the reason that European children are well behaved before Christmastime. Then Santa comes in like a friggin’ hero and leaves presents.

What a guy.

But Krampus gets no love, no respect and no props here in America and I think it’s about time he did.

Krampus is a badass for several reasons:

    Krampus!

  • Looks like a demon
  • Same powers as Santa, but sinister
  • Krampusnacht
  • Find a cooler name, I dare you

On the eve of the Feast of St. Nickolaus, Dec. 5th for you philistines out there, Krampus visits all the boys and girls in the land.

For the good boys and girls, Krampus just reminds them of what could be if they stray from the straight and narrow.

For the naughty kids Krampus attacks!

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Krampus gone wild

He beats them with a stick. Because that’s the kind of guy Krampus is. You kids might think that Krampus would never beat you, but you’d be wrong. Krampus spares no rod.

And that’s basically it. Krampus beats your kids into being well behaved and then goes and gets pissed on European beer.

The drinking is yet another fun part for adults. On the 5th, you go out with your buddies and meet Krampus in a bar and get stupid drunk. Krampusnacht, or “Krampus Night” is celebrated all over Europe as an excuse to relax, put on your goat leggings and pronghorns and guzzle booze till you wet your woolens.

Sweet.

So you might say that Europe is too trendy and they have nothing to offer us.

I say KRAMPUS!

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Krampus does the work so you don’t have to.