X Box 360 and Wii are an enemy of literacy. I blame these modern gaming systems for the rising illiteracy rate in the U.S. and possibly… the world. If people had to read to navigate the sprawling underground labyrinth of Zork, you might find more students in the classroom improving their dungeoneering skills instead of on “World of Warcraft” attending a troll marriage ceremony. How else can you survive dungeons full of grues and zorkmids? Give me more text based adventure games and I will give you a smarter world!

You get all of these features. Maybe no gnome weddings, but look at the playability!

n, s, e, w
Short for “go north”, “go south”, etc.

nw, ne, sw, se
Short for “go northwest”, “go southwest”, etc.

u and d
Short for “go up” and “go down”

Reveals a player’s inventory

Gives full descriptions after each command (rather than omitting details already given to the player)

Displays the player’s current score, number of moves, and ranking

The player is not limited to verb-noun commands, such as “take lamp”, “open mailbox”, and so forth. Instead, the parser supports more sophisticated sentences such as “put the lamp and sword in the case”, “look under the rug”, and “drop all except lantern”. The game understands a good number of common verbs, including “take”, “drop”, “examine”, “attack”, “climb”, “open”, “close”, “count”, and many more.

Luckily, Apple is still in business. It originally ran on an Apple II. I think they are on Apple V right now, so go out and get your copy of Zork! Not to mention that guys who play Zork happen to get their dicks sucked all the time.