Paul Alamo review: Pregnant rock star Tobi Kai

    Where does pregnancy fit in the world of live rock?  And I'm not talking mothers.  Mothers can rock -especially since society finally caught up with their latent hotness(MILF).  I'm talking about a rock show where the singer is visibly pregnant.  Can you imagine seeing Heart live knowing that Ann Wilson's gut was the result of man-seed instead of pizza?  Would she still rock?  How about a pregnant Joan Jet?  Maybe during the chorus of "I love rock and roll" she puts the mic up to her stomach claiming her baby is kicking along with the beat?  

    I saw such a pregnant rock n roll spectacle at Cruisin Route 66 last Friday.  If your not familiar with Tobi Kai and her professional group of professional musicians you should know that they do indeed rock.  Its efficient, cold and slightly sleazy rock music in the vein of AC/DC, Joan Jett and GNR.  And when I said professional twice I did mean professional.  Its rare you'll see guys around town this good play venues this small.  Toby singing style is all growly and toughish.  She prances around the stage making rock faces while burping into the microphone.  They fully embrace the rock and make no apologies.  In fact, they don't even cancel the show when their singer is pregnant.

    Yea, it was awesome.  At first I couldn't look at her when they were playing.  There was this weird guilt feeling like I should take her off the stage and right into lamas class.  Maybe she needed my chair to sit down?  Maybe she was hungry -I hear pregnant woman love lasagna.  So yea, I was distracted until I realized just how fucking rock it was to rock with baby on board.  And it didn't really slow her down.  She still danced around the stage (okay, waddled) with that arrogant rock thing rock people ooze.  Towards the end of the first tune I was all in.  We need more of these bands around St. Louis. 

    I wish I could say the crowd enjoyed them as much as I did.  I think they were put off by the swollen gut or probably the band before them called WaterStreet.  WaterStreet was 4 pubescent young men with lots of hair and guitar solos.  Since a band canceled WaterStreet played 2 sets.  Do you like Van Halen?  Led Zepplin?  Hairy young men?  Apparently the crowd did as they went ape-shit over them.  They sucked the life out of me.  When Toby came on the crowd was confused by the short efficient songs.  "Where is the excess?"  they asked.  "Is that girl pregnant?  Weird".  Yea, fuck em all.  There should be a band of women that is always getting knocked up and playing shows pregnant.  Their name?  "The Pregnanteers".  Tell me you wouldn't be a fan!  And they would need your money to feed all those love/rock children.

 
Tobi Kai and the strays

Paul Alamo rating:

Tobi Kai and the strays: 7.9
WaterStreet: 3.4