Paul Alamo review: Local music night at Blueberry Hill and the offer of group sex

By Paul Alamo on May 13, 2008 8:15 PM | Permalink | Comments (4) | TrackBacks (0)

    Do you prefer original music or cover bands? From my estimation cover bands OWN St. Louis. It seems people here are more interested in songs they already know played by bands that sound good when they're drunk. I saw such a band (Trixie Delight) at Alandale's in Kirkwood last Friday. They rocked. After a few beers they REALLY rocked. Don't get me wrong -its good when a band plays to that happy memory place in your brain. Barracuda? Yea, one more time man. I haven't heard that song less than 500 times I'm sure of it.
    Saturday night I decided to leave the happy memory place and submerge myself in some local original music. This is a dangerous endeavor. Original bands can sport shitty musicians and shady characters. Apparently it takes less skill to play your own music than covers. I guess thats a given right? Still it takes BALLS to play your own music. You have to admire some 24 year old narcissist who just picked up the guitar 5 months ago and thinks you'll be interested in his ruminations about a girl that dumped him for an asshole. Welcome to everybody.
    Fortunately none of the bands Saturday night at Blueberry Hill sucked. Rabies vs. Rickshaws spurted (in a good way) with off-key vocals and a Radiohead cover. It was that Radiohead song we all know but it was still cool. The drummer's many layers of flesh swirled and pulsated with her drumming. It was great stuff. And it was good, hard, easy and impossible to watch. Originally I thought their name was Babies vs. Rickshaws. And that's the better name, although their original isn't so bad.

The band Chapters sported a lead singer with a great interest and skill with ties. I swear to god he taught the crowd how to tie a double Windsor knot between some songs. Everyone was transfixed -is that guy really teaching us how to dress for job interviews during a rock show? After the instruction and display of the Windsor knot my wife whispered an audible "wow" under her breath. She was impressed with his quick/steady hands and fashion sense. Yes, Chapters was winning over the crowd. Their music lurks somewhere around Interpol and Joy Division. Its grand, enunciated mid-range. As they moved through their set they got better, louder. Lots of changes, transitions and atmosphere (not unlike boarding a cruise ship) smoothly executed.   They really played the fuck out of their songs. No, not like Trixie Delight played Barracuda. But it was close people...close.

    After the Chapters set I was approached by a large girl wanting me to join her for group sex. No, I'm not kidding. I wasn't sure why she approached me until I later realized that I wasn't wearing my wedding ring. Oh, I'm also quite the looker (I'm told I look like a young Ernest Borgnine). So initially she introduced herself and commented on how smooth my hands felt (Palmolive fuckers). Then she asked "Would you like to join me later for group sex?". This prompted me to fall back on my Catholic upbringing and inform her that I hate myself plenty enough already. I certainly don't need to join her for group sex to hate myself more. She was a good sport about it and faded back into the crowd. Or at least I think that's what happened...I was pretty drunk. Hopefully she found a better man that night to take to her sex pen.

Paul Alamo rating:

Rabies vs. Rickshaws: 6.8
Chapters: 8.0
Group Sex with fat girl:    0.7
Group Sex with fat girl if I was unmarried: 6.1