Huckabee summons Orcus

| | Comments (2) | TrackBacks (0)
mm1_orcus.jpg

As a result of Huckabee's summonings during the lunar eclipse, Orcus has entered our plane of existence and awarded him the coveted "Wand of Orcus".  This skull-tipped wand has the ability to automatically slay any living creature it touches.  Orcus was summoned from Thanatos, the 113th layer of the Abyss.  It is a frigid and frozen layer infested with the undead. Several cities dotted the layer. The Prince of the Undead rules from his palace of Everlost in the Bone Meal Desert north of a vast mountain chain (called the Final Hills) that cut across the layer.

Orcus was one of the most powerful and strongest of all abyssal lords. Orcus is a grossly fat lord, some 15' tall. His huge gray body is covered with goatish hair, and his head is goat-like although his horns are similar to those of a ram. His great legs are also goat-like, but his arms are human. Vast bat wings sprout from his back, and his long, snaky tail is tipped with a poisonous head.

Orcus proceeded to climb through the demonic ranks in the next several thousand years, going from larva to mane, from mane to dretch, from dretch to rutterkin, from rutterkin to vrock, from vrock to glabrezu, from glabrezu to nalfeshnee and eventually a balor. From there, he ascended to the rank of demon lord, becoming the Prince of the Undead and ruling the layer of Thanatos, the Belly of Death. Even though there are other demon lords aspiring to the title of "Prince of the Undead", Orcus' claim to the title has gone unchallenged for the most part. Ever hungry for more power, Orcus wanted to be recognzied as "Prince of Demons", a title held by Demogorgon and coveted also by Graz'zt. As a result, he became the arch-enemy of both demon lords. In time, Orcus also achieved true godhood.

With Demogorgon currently in our world presumably on the side of the democrats (you never can tell which baboon head is in charge), we can only speculate that Nader will summon forth Graz'zt in the weeks to come.



Categories

,

0 TrackBacks

Listed below are links to blogs that reference this entry: Huckabee summons Orcus.

TrackBack URL for this entry: http://www.superfunpatrol.net/mt/mt-tb.cgi/720

2 Comments

Gallows Pole Author Profile Page said:

Awesome. We should continue this until it gets utterly out of hand and stupid. I really do mean this.

Sag Author Profile Page said:

Yes... In the case of Demogorgon. One head is for Clinton, the other for Obama. I wonder which candidate will summon Jubilex, also called "The Faceless Lord". He is the demon lord of Slimes and Oozes,

Leave a comment

All content copyright (c) 2008 Super Fun Patrol. Stealing is for sucks!

About this Entry

This page contains a single entry by Sag published on February 28, 2008 1:43 PM.

The souls of the twelve will awaken La Magra was the previous entry in this blog.

God on Huckabee: Fuck 'im, that Wanker. is the next entry in this blog.

Find recent content on the main index or look in the archives to find all content.

Archives



St. Louis Blogger's Guild

Creative Commons License
This weblog is licensed under a Creative Commons License.
Powered by Movable Type 4.21-en