Recently in 11e. News Category
"After all, three downturns equal an upturn, right?" said the President.
"Heh, heh, heh," he added, "but seriously, can we start a war with Lehman Brothers?"
By law, these scallywags must be arrested immediately and brought before your local tribunal whereby the grace of our King, they shall be found guilty and dance the hempen jig.
A gallows has been erected at the docks of our fair port, from which these villains shall hang for ten times ten days as a warning to their ilk that we do not tolerate piracy in civilized culture!
A pox on pirates!
Nemakova Hantuchova is disqualified for use of a futuristic levitating racket.
Justin Christian checks Chone Figgins for a hernia. Sponsored by Stride Gum.
Shawn Riggans performs an impromptu Redd Foxx impression after a bad umpire call.
Real man Buck Worth suplexes a 1 ton bull.
Lugo Gallardo plays a dangerous game of 'Extreme Guess Who?' with Londoner Ken Foy.
"At first a peek, meesa thoughta the sealo was killing the pengy wengy. Why the sealo attempto to have 'turkey stuff' sexy with the pengy wengy is no clear".
An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.
"The scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal. Equally, it might be been an aggressive, predatory act; or even a playful one that turned sexual. The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it. The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail. The seal may have been frustrated in its attempts to find a partner. The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to stuff the turkey, unsuccessfully. After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report."
I admit it. I don't pay attention while I'm driving. I look forward, try not to hit other objects and occasionally make a hand gesture just so other drivers can feel included in my driving process.
But the other day I was motivating down Grand approaching Gravois and something odd caught the corner of my eye, even though eyes are orbs and have no corners.
KFC had disappeared! And in its place was something called "Kentucky Fried Chicken".
What the hell happened? Has Yum! Corp. stopped raising cubical chicken-like beasts with 6 legs and giant chicken boobs? Has zombie Colonel returned from the grave and laid down the undead law at corporate headquarters?
Well even the almighty Internet doesn't know. As near as I can tell:
Super Fun Patrol is the first to break this news!
Even KFC's website is mum on the news. They are just clandestinely switching their logos and indicia right under our noses and salivating mouths. Just check out this picture!
This begs the question: Are initials now passe? What does this mean for T.J. Max and R. Kelly? Think of the sports nicknames that will have to be changed! Will A Rod be merely a rod or just Alex? Will J. Jonah Jameson have enough time to yell at that slacker Parker after using his own full name?
I don't know. But I warn you to be vigilant dear consumer - because if ZZ Top starts calling themselves Zachary Zoey Top, I am so outta here.
U.K. here I come!
The Bigfoot Field Researchers Organization has done it again! This time in West Virginia.
Seems our intrepid explorers, led by Steve Willis, ventured into Pocahontas County, WV to find a Sasquatch and now it might have happened.
You see, many years ago a great earthquake turned the world upside down. Many normal people were killed and many unnatural things were released. Like bigfoots.
This expedition found foorprints of "a female and a juvenile" and heard a sound like a "baseball bat knocking against a tree."
I don't know about you, but I'm convinced.
They say there's over 6000 Sasquatch kicking around the US and Canada.
Sweet.
I found this picture by searching for Sasquatch. These guys are pretty cool.
Maybe I didn't agree with all of his politics, but Chuck H is one of SFP's heroes. A man can go his entire life without saying something quotable, but Planet of the Apes has a ton of lines that will be remembered forever.
Now he's dead. He died Saturday at the age of 83. He's home. All the time it was... We finally did it!
Heston was born in 1924 and became famous for playing larger-than-life biblical and historical types like Marc Antony, Moses, Ben Hur, John the Baptist and Michelangelo.
Then the apes invaded and Heston flipped his wig. Playing astronaut George Taylor, Chuck found himself hurled into a terrifying future where apes ruled because we blew ourselves up. It was a mad house. A MAD HOUSE OF AWESOME!
Eventually the scenery-chewing actor became involved with the NRA and was a strong voice for the rights of Americans to bear arms.
But we will fondly remember him as the ape-fighting hero of our youth.
Godspeed, George Taylor.
Sir Elton is planning on putting on a fundraising concert for Hilary Clinton's campaign.
I originally wondered why, but then I realized that the British Queen would have a major interest in the outcome of the American Presidential election.
Source: NYT
St. Louis' stltoday.com links some popular STL blogs:
This appears on their "blog zone" on the Virtual St. Louis section.
What's the matter, Post Dispatch? Are you afraid of us?
Poop jokes and adult language would scare the blue-hairs?
Well we're not going to link you either.
TAKE THAT!
Yeah, I know it hurts. But we can't just link all kinds of people, adding who knows how many web hits!
You want a link on SFP old media? We'll take money, food, or puppies - but not Labradoodles, because fuck those guys!
Maybe they aren't linking us because we're real men with real stink.
We'll cop to that.
All content copyright (c) 2008 Super Fun Patrol. Stealing is for sucks!
