Recently in 10. Science - Or Is It? Category
Rick Dyer and Matt Whitton, I hope you get eaten by a chupacabra and have your bloodless bodies fertilize the Ohio Grassman.
These goony hillbillies will not deter SFP from their continued cryptozoological vigilance. The time you hear about the Jersey Devil or Loch Ness Monster, we will be there.
Naked.
Source: ABC
It's a hoax. A goddamned hoax. And I called it. It's an ad for a product. IT'S AN AD FOR Rick Dyer and Matt Whitton's 500 dollar Big Foot Tours. DNA testing discovered human and possum DNA from the sample they provided.
And to make matters worse, the owner of thehorrordome.com says that the beast is clothed in one of the costumes he sells on his website.
Bitches.
Thanks: NY Daily News
Bigfoot trackers and regular-ass hunters Matthew Whitton and Rick Dyer claim they have discovered a dead Sasquatch and after hauling it two hours through the woods and putting it in a big meatlocker for weeks are ready to reveal it to the world.They also say they have video of the poor bastard's family lumbering around the woods.
And they will reveal all of their findings to the world tomorrow, August 15th!
First of all, the bastards could have doe it today, which happens to be my birthday. How cool would it be to have your birthday be Bigfoot Day?
It would be as cool as chocolate ice-cream and dozens of naked ladies. Dozens.
But no.
At any rate, they found it in northern Georgia. I'm betting it's not a Sasquatch, it's just a very large hillbilly with poor hygiene (is that redundant?). Tomorrow will prove me right or wrong.
And if this is some kind of over-hyped hoax to promote some moronic product, like when Dean Kamen promised to revolutionize transportation then released the highly retarded Segway, I'm going to be pissed.
Thanks: Scientific American
Man goes into cage, coffee goes into water. Shark's in the water. Our shark.
You think you are grumpy without your morning coffee, well feast your look-holes on THIS.
Shark Diver took our zowie kapowie challenge and unveiled an amazing video clip.
Apparently one of their crew accidentally dropped a 2 pound can of coffee overboard and this shark ate the damn thing.
Read that again - he ate two pounds of coffee. So what you have here, chief, is an ocean-going set of meat-grinding choppers attached to a torpedo body tweaking out on caffeine.
Don't ask him about TPS reports today. Trust me. So do like I did - click the picture, which will navigate you to their site and watch the amazing footage. Then swim like a man on fire for shore.
Thank me later.
Source: Shark Diver <- you can click here to see the video, chief.
(They also link back to us. So do me a damn favor and go there.)
London just got more dangerous! This Tuesday some bloke with bollocks the size of the Queen Mary absconded with a marble catshark from an aqarium in Hampshire, UK.
A breeding pair of the sharks can fetch 50 thousand pounds, but the single shark is only worth about 10,000 - which in US dollars is just shy of a million thousand.
Shark Week seems to have cast its net accross the Atlantic and even thieves are catching shark fever.
Which I believe can be cured by a +1 wand of healing wielded by a paladin or cleric.
Source: Reuters
My favorite shark site, Shark Diver, has been a little thin on zowie kapowie shark stories this year, but today they revealed... this!
What is it? A penguin dog? A maritime chicken? The devil? I don't know. All I know is that I'm buying a 500 gallon tank and getting one because who needs an alarm system with one of these.
You're robbing a house and you happen upon one of these demon-macaw-sturgeons - you will turn yourself in and find Jesus - quick.
Where did it wash up? New Jersey - of course.
Thanks: Shark Diver
Shark Diver is the blog arm of SharkDiver.com. They book shark dives. Get up close and personal with Jaws. Poop yourself in the ocean.
Apparently a lot more people read SFP than one might think.
Seems a company has invented a Shark-Stabbing Knife. In case you don't remember, I invented this a long time ago! This difference between mine and theirs? About $300, that's what.
There's a law suit in here somewhere.
Their knife has a CO2 cartridge in it that once you stab the shark, inflates it with compressed gas, killing it and floating it to the surface, ready for grilling.
I remember in my day when a good stabbing was more than enough to kill a fish, but now when they look at you with those black eyes, like a doll's eyes, you can explode their insides.
Bloody overkill.
Shark Week is coming up really soon, so I thought I'd give you a taste of things to come, so to speak.I want you to take a gawk at this picture of a man cramming his hand down a shark. I'll wait...
...Holy Gangster Jesus! And yes, he's Australian. Do you really think any other country's people could or would do something like this? I say thee nay!
Apparently someone had crammed a fishing gaff "accidentally" into the shark's gullet and realizing that, "Crikey! I've come the raw prawn!" motorboated outta there.
Then the crazy bastards at Sea World Australia lassoed the shark, then pulled the gaff out with their bare hands.
The shark was saved.
The morale of this story is, once again, the Australians are the craziest bastards on the planet.
This, by the way, is a fishing gaff (economy model):
Thanks: SharkDiver via Goldcoast.com.au
Take a close look, unbelievers. What you see before you is damning evidence of the existence of Bigfoot.
Rick Jacobs, a Pennsylvania hunter, was trying to take some pictures of a hearty buck, but instead caught the diabolical image of Sasquatch.
"We couldn't figure out what they were," Jacobs said. "I've been hunting for years and I've never seen anything like this."
He contacted the Bigfoot Research Organization and released the pictures.
The PA game commision said it was a mangy bear.
But I ask you - does this look like a bear? The answer is no it does not. It is a bigfoot.
So if you're out hunting in Pennsylvania, stay in your tree stand because there's an army of bigfoots just waiting to eat your face.
Source: Pittsburgh Live
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