GAY SHEEP
Diddle the Podcast button in this post to listen OR right-click-save-as OR subscribe to our RSS feed OR use the Super Fun Player!
I've had a blow to the head. I must have because I don't know what this title means. I'm sure it has something to do with us discussing the sexuality of sheep and if sheep can be gay and if they were would they know they were gay.
Would they care?
Do you prefer original music or cover bands? From my estimation cover
bands OWN St. Louis. It seems people here are more interested in songs
they already know played by bands that sound good when they're drunk.
I saw such a band (Trixie Delight) at Alandale's in Kirkwood last
Friday. They rocked. After a few beers they REALLY rocked. Don't get
me wrong -its good when a band plays to that happy memory place in your
brain. Barracuda? Yea, one more time man. I haven't heard that song
less than 500 times I'm sure of it.
Saturday night I decided to leave the happy memory place and submerge myself in some local original music. This is a dangerous endeavor. Original bands can sport shitty musicians and shady characters. Apparently it takes less skill to play your own music than covers. I guess thats a given right? Still it takes BALLS to play your own music. You have to admire some 24 year old narcissist who just picked up the guitar 5 months ago and thinks you'll be interested in his ruminations about a girl that dumped him for an asshole. Welcome to everybody.
Fortunately none of the bands Saturday night at Blueberry Hill sucked. Rabies vs. Rickshaws spurted (in a good way) with off-key vocals and a Radiohead cover. It was that Radiohead song we all know but it was still cool. The drummer's many layers of flesh swirled and pulsated with her drumming. It was great stuff. And it was good, hard, easy and impossible to watch. Originally I thought their name was Babies vs. Rickshaws. And that's the better name, although their original isn't so bad.
The band Chapters sported a lead singer with a great interest and skill
with ties. I swear to god he taught the crowd how to tie a double Windsor
knot between some songs. Everyone was transfixed -is that guy really
teaching us how to dress for job interviews during a rock show? After
the instruction and display of the Windsor knot my wife whispered an
audible "wow" under her breath. She was impressed with his
quick/steady hands and fashion sense. Yes, Chapters was winning over
the crowd. Their music lurks somewhere around Interpol and Joy
Division. Its grand, enunciated mid-range. As they moved through
their set they got better, louder. Lots of changes, transitions and
atmosphere (not unlike boarding a cruise ship) smoothly executed.
They really played the fuck out of their songs. No, not like Trixie
Delight played Barracuda. But it was close people...close.
After the Chapters set I was approached by a large girl wanting me to join her for group sex. No, I'm not kidding. I wasn't sure why she approached me until I later realized that I wasn't wearing my wedding ring. Oh, I'm also quite the looker (I'm told I look like a young Ernest Borgnine). So initially she introduced herself and commented on how smooth my hands felt (Palmolive fuckers). Then she asked "Would you like to join me later for group sex?". This prompted me to fall back on my Catholic upbringing and inform her that I hate myself plenty enough already. I certainly don't need to join her for group sex to hate myself more. She was a good sport about it and faded back into the crowd. Or at least I think that's what happened...I was pretty drunk. Hopefully she found a better man that night to take to her sex pen.
Paul Alamo rating:
Rabies vs. Rickshaws: 6.8
Chapters: 8.0
Group Sex with fat girl: 0.7
Group Sex with fat girl if I was unmarried: 6.1
Saturday night I decided to leave the happy memory place and submerge myself in some local original music. This is a dangerous endeavor. Original bands can sport shitty musicians and shady characters. Apparently it takes less skill to play your own music than covers. I guess thats a given right? Still it takes BALLS to play your own music. You have to admire some 24 year old narcissist who just picked up the guitar 5 months ago and thinks you'll be interested in his ruminations about a girl that dumped him for an asshole. Welcome to everybody.
Fortunately none of the bands Saturday night at Blueberry Hill sucked. Rabies vs. Rickshaws spurted (in a good way) with off-key vocals and a Radiohead cover. It was that Radiohead song we all know but it was still cool. The drummer's many layers of flesh swirled and pulsated with her drumming. It was great stuff. And it was good, hard, easy and impossible to watch. Originally I thought their name was Babies vs. Rickshaws. And that's the better name, although their original isn't so bad.
The band Chapters sported a lead singer with a great interest and skill
with ties. I swear to god he taught the crowd how to tie a double Windsor
knot between some songs. Everyone was transfixed -is that guy really
teaching us how to dress for job interviews during a rock show? After
the instruction and display of the Windsor knot my wife whispered an
audible "wow" under her breath. She was impressed with his
quick/steady hands and fashion sense. Yes, Chapters was winning over
the crowd. Their music lurks somewhere around Interpol and Joy
Division. Its grand, enunciated mid-range. As they moved through
their set they got better, louder. Lots of changes, transitions and
atmosphere (not unlike boarding a cruise ship) smoothly executed.
They really played the fuck out of their songs. No, not like Trixie
Delight played Barracuda. But it was close people...close.After the Chapters set I was approached by a large girl wanting me to join her for group sex. No, I'm not kidding. I wasn't sure why she approached me until I later realized that I wasn't wearing my wedding ring. Oh, I'm also quite the looker (I'm told I look like a young Ernest Borgnine). So initially she introduced herself and commented on how smooth my hands felt (Palmolive fuckers). Then she asked "Would you like to join me later for group sex?". This prompted me to fall back on my Catholic upbringing and inform her that I hate myself plenty enough already. I certainly don't need to join her for group sex to hate myself more. She was a good sport about it and faded back into the crowd. Or at least I think that's what happened...I was pretty drunk. Hopefully she found a better man that night to take to her sex pen.
Paul Alamo rating:
Rabies vs. Rickshaws: 6.8
Chapters: 8.0
Group Sex with fat girl: 0.7
Group Sex with fat girl if I was unmarried: 6.1
"The John Quincy Adams"
Being unreasonably (but successfully) cock-blocked on your wedding night.
"Tariff of Abominations"
The final bill at an incredibly expensive Asian massage parlor.
Being unreasonably (but successfully) cock-blocked on your wedding night.
In his first annual message to Congress, Adams presented an ambitious program for modernization that included roads, canals, a national university, an astronomical observatory, and other initiatives. He was a leading opponent of the Slave Power and had a generous policy toward Native Americans. He also took the Oath of Office on a book of laws, instead of the more traditional Bible.
Obviously all Americans hated him (because he seems pretty reasonable) and he never got anything through congress.
Obviously all Americans hated him (because he seems pretty reasonable) and he never got anything through congress.
"Tariff of Abominations"
The final bill at an incredibly expensive Asian massage parlor.
The Tariff of 1828, also known as the Tariff of Abominations, enacted on May 19, 1828, was a protective tariff passed by the U.S. Congress. It was labeled the "Tariff of Abominations" by its Southern detractors. The goal of the tariff was to protect industry in the northern United States from competing European goods by increasing the prices of European products.
"At first a peek, meesa thoughta the sealo was killing the pengy wengy. Why the sealo attempto to have 'turkey stuff' sexy with the pengy wengy is no clear".
An Antarctic fur seal has been observed trying to have sex with a king penguin.
"The scientists who photographed the event speculate that it was the behaviour of a frustrated, sexually inexperienced young male seal. Equally, it might be been an aggressive, predatory act; or even a playful one that turned sexual. The 100kg seal first subdued the 15kg penguin by lying on it. The penguin flapped its flippers and attempted to stand and escape - but to no avail. The seal may have been frustrated in its attempts to find a partner. The seal then alternated between resting on the penguin, and thrusting its pelvis, trying to stuff the turkey, unsuccessfully. After 45 minutes the seal gave up, swam into the water and then completely ignored the bird it had just assaulted, the scientists report."
I like cigars and beer. Some people, like Craig Mayhem, hate cigars
because he thinks there for rich snobs. For me I love em because they
stink and deliver a nice jolt of nicotine. This nicotine buzz brings
me back to my youth when I regularly put down 2 packs of cigarettes a
day. Anyway, you can buy some cigars at Growler's if you want. The
selection isn't grand but its better than your local Quik Trip. In Quik Trip's defense they offer a nice selection of Swisher Sweets.
In addition to the cigars Growlers offers a huge selection of beer. Lots on tap and lots in the bottle. Check out their beer fridge behind the bar -admire the bright florescent lights jammed right next to the clear and light-green beer bottles that have likely been sitting there for months...if not years. Go ahead, order an obscure beer on tap and enjoy how flat it is. I've been going to Growler's for years and I have yet to get a non-flat exotic beer. Should I be ordering exotic beers at a bar? Why not just Bud Light? What, am I some kind of fancy lad?
And this is the confusion of Growlers. Why are
people flocking here? Like I said I've been there many times. In fact
I own one of their silver goblets -a moron reward for a jackass who
agrees to drink every over-priced bottle of skunked beer they have to
sell (took me 2 years and $800 to obtain said mug). So why have I been
there so much? Is the food good? Not really. I usually order the
buffalo chicken sandwich which tastes just like every other BCS
you've ever had, only slightly worse. The service staff is forgetful.
They have tons of beer you've never had but its all old, skunky
and flat. What about the cigars? On a busy night (and the place is
often packed on the weekend) I can usually scope out one fat guy
smoking a cigar. No, the clientele here is the same crowd from every other
drunk tank bar in St. Louis. I imagine said drunks dreaming of a
people bridge spanning Lindbergh to Helen Fitzgerald's...and maybe a
bar on the bridge!
To offer an guess at its popularity I'll suggest some positives -it is one of the few bars around to offer more than just AB products. Yep, points for that. The building and atmosphere is decent and not overwhelming in its "sports barness". St. Louis has way too many sports bars that look exactly the same. So more points for at least trying to look like a place that takes its boos seriously. The location has to help being across the street from Helen Fitzgerald's. Each one is a book end for a drunk pool. And I should mention that driving in this area should be done cautiously. I love Missouri...here you have two bars famous for getting blasted and I've never seen a cop in sight. At least the lanes are nice and wide for swerving.
So if its just a drunk house then why the fancy beer? Nice cigars? Ah, the novelty! Here I am bitching about it but I drank everyone of those damn things. It was like a challenge. And when I was sauced up I didn't care how bad the $13.50 bottle of "Nun Spit" tasted. I was basically funding the place for the regular drunks. Think about it -some bars offer $12 buckets. Growler's offers several $12 beers -just one fucking drink! Then, make it a game and see which assholes get fooled by the gag.
I started out this review thinking it would be a rip on Growler's but now I realize the place is a gem and I can't wait to get back. If I drink every beer they offer again I think I get a Growler's leather jacket!
In addition to the cigars Growlers offers a huge selection of beer. Lots on tap and lots in the bottle. Check out their beer fridge behind the bar -admire the bright florescent lights jammed right next to the clear and light-green beer bottles that have likely been sitting there for months...if not years. Go ahead, order an obscure beer on tap and enjoy how flat it is. I've been going to Growler's for years and I have yet to get a non-flat exotic beer. Should I be ordering exotic beers at a bar? Why not just Bud Light? What, am I some kind of fancy lad?
And this is the confusion of Growlers. Why are
people flocking here? Like I said I've been there many times. In fact
I own one of their silver goblets -a moron reward for a jackass who
agrees to drink every over-priced bottle of skunked beer they have to
sell (took me 2 years and $800 to obtain said mug). So why have I been
there so much? Is the food good? Not really. I usually order the
buffalo chicken sandwich which tastes just like every other BCS
you've ever had, only slightly worse. The service staff is forgetful.
They have tons of beer you've never had but its all old, skunky
and flat. What about the cigars? On a busy night (and the place is
often packed on the weekend) I can usually scope out one fat guy
smoking a cigar. No, the clientele here is the same crowd from every other
drunk tank bar in St. Louis. I imagine said drunks dreaming of a
people bridge spanning Lindbergh to Helen Fitzgerald's...and maybe a
bar on the bridge!To offer an guess at its popularity I'll suggest some positives -it is one of the few bars around to offer more than just AB products. Yep, points for that. The building and atmosphere is decent and not overwhelming in its "sports barness". St. Louis has way too many sports bars that look exactly the same. So more points for at least trying to look like a place that takes its boos seriously. The location has to help being across the street from Helen Fitzgerald's. Each one is a book end for a drunk pool. And I should mention that driving in this area should be done cautiously. I love Missouri...here you have two bars famous for getting blasted and I've never seen a cop in sight. At least the lanes are nice and wide for swerving.
So if its just a drunk house then why the fancy beer? Nice cigars? Ah, the novelty! Here I am bitching about it but I drank everyone of those damn things. It was like a challenge. And when I was sauced up I didn't care how bad the $13.50 bottle of "Nun Spit" tasted. I was basically funding the place for the regular drunks. Think about it -some bars offer $12 buckets. Growler's offers several $12 beers -just one fucking drink! Then, make it a game and see which assholes get fooled by the gag.
I started out this review thinking it would be a rip on Growler's but now I realize the place is a gem and I can't wait to get back. If I drink every beer they offer again I think I get a Growler's leather jacket!
EVERY CHINESE PERSON HATES CRAIG
Diddle the Podcast button in this post to listen OR right-click-save-as OR subscribe to our RSS feed OR use the Super Fun Player!
Well if they didn't before, the last segment of this show will surely change their mind!
Also - Earth Day! Fortune Cookies! MORE! LOUD! THINGS!
"The James Monroe"
Scoring with a well-tanned retiree.
"The Monroe Doctrine"
An agreement to pimp a relative, but not allowing them to entertain clients in your house.
New old idea reborn at SFP. We'll post a picture and make up a silly caption, then you guys make up your own captions in the comments! So fun you'll poop in your pants, but the poop will be bananas foster instead of poop so you won't know weather to be embarassed or have a pants party.
To kick it off, I found another wacky Sumo picture, because Sumos are always fun!
The first bite is always the tastiest!
Japan's national breakdancing team has really been letting themselves go.
"The James Madison"
Inserting your penis into a Dolly Madison snack cake or, more specifically, encasing it in a Zinger before intercourse with a much larger woman.
Inserting your penis into a Dolly Madison snack cake or, more specifically, encasing it in a Zinger before intercourse with a much larger woman.
All content copyright (c) 2008 Super Fun Patrol. Stealing is for sucks!
 |  | |||
| ||||
 |  |
Feeds
Photos
